You don’t know the ripple effect this small action might have. The next time you think “I haven’t got time for this” when someone is trying to connect with you, see if you can pause and stay even a few seconds longer. Making eye contact, taking time with others (even strangers), being interested ……these are some small actions that can make all the difference. But there is still much to do – starting with each one of us. education, healthcare, criminal justice, communities and the workplace). Interventions based on Mindfulness, Self-Compassion, Empathy and Social Skills are available in different contexts (e.g. Apart from looking for solutions on the problem, preventive measures also can, and should, be taken.įortunately, such preventive programs have proliferated in the UK and in other countries such as USA and Canada during the past few years. Among other actions, the Minister intends to diminish social isolation through programs that cultivate conversation, friendship and empathy the foundation of communities where people can meet and the organization of voluntary work accessing homes of the lonely citizens. Depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide (WHO, 2017). It is only a small step from loneliness to depression. How strange that as the planet’s population grows to unsustainable numbers, we are plagued with an epidemic of loneliness.Ī few months ago, a Minister for Loneliness was nominated in the United Kingdom. A survey conducted in 2017 detected the prevalence of loneliness in 9 million Britons, which is equivalent to 14% of the population. Loneliness is now a worldwide topic of concern. However, a positive experience with ourselves (solitude) may bring benefits such as Freedom ( from constraints and to engage in desired activities), Creativity, Intimacy with oneself, and Spirituality (Long & Averill, 2003) ( see infographic below). When the mental monkeys are rampaging, it can be quite difficult to be alone. someone suffering with depression or anxiety). It is important to note that not everyone is ready to spend quality time with themselves (e.g.
#To be alone with you meaning how to
Most of us are not taught how to cultivate the capacity of being with ourselves and the topic is under-researched. How are these states different for you (in the body? In the mind?) When were you last alone? Was the experience positive or negative? Were you experiencing loneliness or solitude? Reflection: Pause for a moment now to reflection on your own experience of spending time alone. He/ She enjoys the experience of spending aloneness time and can use it to explore himself/ herself. In this state, the individual is not avoiding social interaction due to social anxiety or preference. Solitude is a positive state, it is a type of chosen aloneness, during which personality development and creativity may arise (Galanaki, 2004). Aloneness, though, carries no emotion it’s just a fact. This means that you might be surrounded by people, but not interacting with them. It is related to painful emotions, and often arrives with sadness and boredom.Īloneness is a neutral state, in which there is communicative isolation. Loneliness is a negative state in which the individual perceives dissatisfaction of basic interpersonal and social relationships. There are clearly different ways to be “alone”.īelow we clarify our language use for the inter-related concepts of Loneliness, Aloneness and Solitude. On the other hand, we can be away from others and experience genuine, embodied contentment. Loneliness is a subjective matter, since we can be surrounded by people, even good friends, and still feel lonely. Paradoxically these “disconnected” connections often leave us feeling more lonely. Our technology provides ample opportunity to distract from feeling lonely and most of the social media apps are about “connection”. There are many everyday distractions that serve the same function as the electric shock in Wilson’s study. Yet are there other ways to understand the “alone” experience and even use this time to help us move towards the things we value in life? This illuminates a strong drive away from experiencing aloneness. One American study (Wilson et al., 2014) indicated that most participants preferred to give themselves an electric shock rather than remain silent for 15 minutes. It seems doing anything is preferable to being alone with our thoughts. How are we relating to ourselves in that 1/3 of our lifetime? Do we know how to spend time with ourselves in a way that promotes growth and life-long learning? Solitude, what does it mean to be alone with yourself?īlog by Roberto most intimate relationship we will have in our entire lifetime is with ourselves” ( Jamie Ridler)Īccording to studies, adult humans spend approximately 29% of their waking time alone (Larson, Csikszentmihalyi, & Graef, 1982).
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